Certified Professional Coach, Attorney,
Ambitious Woman and Wife
My life has been full of complicated relationships with my family, in dating, falling in love, and with myself. I was diagnosed with depression as a teenager and struggled privately with it for too long. When it threatened my marriage, I figured out how to think differently so that I could feel differently. I learned to manage my thoughts and took control over my emotional experience in life and in my relationships. When I made changes in how I thought and felt, my marriage naturally grew stronger. It was exciting to practice new ways of communicating and adding romance to every day life. The change that began with me sparked a transformation in my marriage.
Along the way, I realized that my feelings about my family relationships were impacting my marriage. I grew up a Biracial, Black girl in a White family. Like many Biracial children, I had a sense of not belonging and feared rejection. I kept those feelings to myself. The next step in my journey was opening up about my experience as a Black woman in a family that could not understand what life was like for me. I gained peace from being heard and was freed from my fear. The decision we made as a family to love one another, despite our differences, showed me how any relationship can thrive with the right tools.
Changing my relationships taught me about living authentically. I spent ten plus years as an attorney and was ready to do something different. I wasn’t the same woman I was when I graduated law school. My husband began a career that moves us around the world and the time seemed right to follow a new ambition. That brought me to coaching and writing, two things that have always been close to my heart. I got certified as a professional coach and knew I wanted to focus on relationships.
For a long time, I thought I would always be the awkward girl that couldn't figure out love. I thought I had to carry pain from past relationships. I thought depression would forever be the black cloud in my marriage. I am so happy I was wrong. Anyone can take control of their happiness and use that control to create amazing relationships!
When I started coaching, I met so many women like me. They were successful and hard-working. They were starting businesses, climbing the corporate ladder, breaking barriers and achieving goals. Yet, they were still missing something. I recognized how ambitious women were overlooked when it came to relationship wellness and happiness. The toll that being a go-getter superstar takes on personal relationships is rarely accounted for. Plus, when we suffer, we often do it alone.
My work as a coach mirrors my life. I am an ambitious woman that married an ambitious man. I get the challenges that life throws at you when you are balancing professional and vocational goals with a meaningful relationship. I also get doing all of these things with the burden that comes from suffering. Successful relationships, like successful careers, have little to do with the outside world and everything to do with what you have going on in your mind. You cannot control anyone else and you definitely cannot control the world. But you can always choose to be in control of your thoughts, feelings and actions. When you are the CEO of your mind, your happiness in your relationships is in your hands.